British English vs. Malaysian English

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: 124 No stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?


ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me.


WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians: No need lah.



WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?



WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!



WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?



WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Dowan lah.



IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad ah?



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shaddup lah!



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?


WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die lah!!


WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: What happen ah? Why lie' that one lah?



WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Lie' that aso dunno how to do!



WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians: Celaka you!


Haha.. Have a good laugh! :) *Thanks Emma for forwarding dis to me! ♥ *