British English vs. Malaysian English

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians: 124 No stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who call?


ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me.


WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians: No need lah.



WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?



WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!



WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?



WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Malaysians: Dowan lah.



IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Malaysians: You mad ah?



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians: Shaddup lah!



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Malaysians: See what, see what?


WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Malaysians: Die lah!!


WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Malaysians: What happen ah? Why lie' that one lah?



WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians: Lie' that aso dunno how to do!



WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Malaysians: Celaka you!


Haha.. Have a good laugh! :) *Thanks Emma for forwarding dis to me! ♥ *

Yesterday.

Yesterday was an eventful day.
Yeap, I skipped school. XD
My dad fetched me to school to get my Surat Tawaran Form 6 approved by the principal so that I could send the damn thing with my NS penangguhan letter.

After that I went to the Public Library to get rid of all my 10 novels, which I had to pay RM1 for being a day late. XDD
I was planning to borrow another round, but the librarian told me I couldn't use my cards anymore!!!! T.T WHAT?!

Owh, so they decided to increase the 'standard' of the library by using high-tech library cards, just like our IC or atm cards. Lol.

Next stop!! The post office, I folded all the necessary documents into the envelope and threw the letter into the red letter box. Whew, 2 things done.
Last stop was Maybank. Why? Coz I need to close my Baby Yippie Bank account and open another new account, transfering all the Yippie Club's savings into my new one.
Helloooo, I'm 18 already, still using Baby Yippie Club... Za daooo. XDD

The bank teller told us that they no longer use bank books, all they were using now were atm cards.
Great! I can have my own atm card now! ^^
The teller told us that I couldn't use the card dat day, it would need a day of activation, so I could only withdraw any money by Friday.

Anyway, I still got to an atm machine to change my password. After that I decided to show my dad how the machine functioned. He never use it before you see. So I simply pressed on the "withdrawal" button and pressed "rm200", even though I knew there would be no money at all.

The machine beeped loudly and threw out my card, with words on the screen saying, "PLEASE TAKE YOUR CARD."
I sighed and took it, telling my dad that my card was REJECTED. XD
So we turned and walked out.
I didn't know why, I turned my head to look at the machine one last time based on sudden instinct.
GUESS WAT? There were 4 pieces of RM50 notes neatly piled in the mouth of the machine, with the words "PLEASE TAKE YOUR MONEY" on the screen.

My eyes got as big as pebbles and stared. The people queueing up at the nearby atm machines all looked at me as if I have gone out of my mind. Lol. I quickly paced back and got all the money out. WTH la? The teller told us it wouldn't be activated today right? There why there was money coming out from the machine? =.=!!!!! SWT.

My dad couldn't blame me too, coz he also believed wat the teller told us. All we could do was just laugh and be grateful that no one robbed away those unattended money. APA BENDA LA NI... ZZZ...

See my atm card dat almost cost me my RM200. Lol.

And then in the afternoon, I saw an accident on my way to Kuantan. O.o
I managed to take a picture. The poor car was wrecked by a huge lorry containing "bahan merbahaya".

And yeap, I cut my fringe. XDDD Yay!!! Good, nothing stands in my way and I can see clearly now. Ahaha...

I WANNA GET MORE SLEEP, I GOT HOME AROUND 11pm something. TIRED LIKE HELL LA.

Good night ppl~ XD

I'M GIVING CHINESE CLASS!

I hadn't talk to any of the Malay girls in my class since the school opening. XD

Today was the starting point, and the thing that first got my attention was the horrendously loud laughter bursting out behind me.

I reluctantly pulled my eyes off my novel and turned around, witnessing a bunch of hyenas ---> Jia Wei, Kah Win and Boon Kiat laughing their asses off, with a few Malay girls looking totally confused standing besides them.

Ostensibly, I had put on a big question mark on my face, so Kah Win asked Qi Qian to pass something to me as the explanation.
It was a tiny notebook, flipped halfway with something like dis on the page:

Lol. So one of the Malay girl asked the guys to translate her name into Chinese, and there they went pranking her. Zzzz... Haha.
The translation was simply so silly, the only thing that I couldn't deny was the right pronunciations.

Those who know Chinese will know what I mean. XDDDD
The Malay girls had no idea about it and gratefully accepted the "masterpiece". *roll eyes*

It was later when the girls decided to try out another "Chinese Teacher" that they came up to me, coz I was the only so free reading novel in the class.
Lol. So I told them about the funny name translation and the girl gave a pretty good shove of fist in the air, claiming to kill the guys if she saw them. XDD
And of coz she asked me to translate for her again. =.=!!!
Haiyak, I was having braincramps at dat time, so Qi Qian and I reconstruct the whole thing into a much more refine one, at least slightly better than the previous one. XD
So here's the result. ahahaha..

After that I taught them the most basic chinese pronunciation symbols too.
I drew something like dis on the notebook so that they could understand easier. XD
It was a method introduced by one of my primary school teachers.
Imagine the people sitting inside the car, and their emotional yelling going through the flat road, the ascending path, the sudden 'v' shape and lastly the deadly descend.
Haiyaaaa... Chinese students should know wat I mean la.. X.x Tired of explaining.

Lol. It was a pretty fun day. I recalled the old times when I teached 12345678910 to dear Chera babe and Zaza. XDD Miss them lots!

Impending Rain. A Heavy One.

It is 3 o'clock something in the afternoon, and the sky is already as black as coal.
The funniest thing is even the street light outside my house is shining.
Does it have the darkness sensor or something? Or someone in TNB so brilliantly senses the imminent closing of duskiness and switches it on?? I have absolutely N.O I.D.E.A.

Some updates about today.
Aaahhh yea, I met my MUET teacher yesterday. Her eloquence in English is so far the best in the school. XD
Btw, she gave us a pretty nice task, a DAILY one.
All of us have to write a journal everyday, with a minimum of 5 sentences.
Almost EVERYONE groaned when they heard about it.
Obviously I was the only one enjoying the task. Haha...
I'm still waiting to buy a notebook first before I write anything down. She gonna spend lots of time reading my craps. XD I'll stuff my books with everything in my mind. Muahahaha.

I want to elaborate about my observations towards my school teachers soooooooooooo badly, will it be a good idea to write it down in the journal? XDDDD
I guess it will be okay as long as I don't write anything too bad about the MUET teacher! ^^

Today's Chemistry class was pretty much a headache stimulator.
Perhaps the teacher doesn't really know the limit of human brains, she kept on cramming more and more informations into our brains.
I tried my best to stuff everything in. Ahaha... Sometimes it feels great when I challenge my brain's limit, especially when I sense I can still cope with everything. :DDD
I'm purely being the EXTRA brain in my class, coz I don't really need to take notes, actually my task in school is just RELAXING. It's totally up to me whether I want to listen to the class or not.

Lol. I plainly enjoyed myself learning new stuff and gratified myself in understanding and remembering them. :))) Form 6 Chemistry needs a lot of understanding. I made lots of explanation to my friends today about the Maxwell Boltzwatt something after I understood it. Ahaha... I guess I'll going to forget everything a few days more coz I DON'T HAVE A SINGLE REFERENCE BOOK AT HOME! XDDD

I think I need to switch to a new post. You people gonna doze off reading dis ranting post. XD

♥

xixi

Pffffffttttt..

I was reading Marley & Me, lying flat on my bed and then a streak of sunlight shone in...
It activated the drowsy me to do something... er... as usual~~ Lalala...
My eyes were terribly heavy by that time, had a long day in school which demanded lots of attention and brain-cramps. Hah~
So cam whoring can be a pretty lame refreshment for me. Duhhhh. XDDD

So my piggy became my most-recent victim of the day. :) It was pretty photogenic you see. XD

Just trying to show how messy my hair is, especially my fringe. x.x

Gotta get a haircut sooner. XDD

ps: Swt... Jacky. I guess you definitely have a weird concept about sexy eyes. Lol.

Bibi's Fashion Show ♥

:) Tadaaa. Dis is my pet, Bibi in Pet Society!
She's constantly suffering in poverty, coz her owner spends all the money lavishly buying fashionable clothes for her.

Sometimes she was so broke dat she can't buy any food.
And her owner is the most irresponsible one, leaving her in hunger and never wash her until flies surround her.
No matter how bleak her life is, Bibi never stop to indulge herself in her sheer happiness. :)
She never complain. See?

This is Wen Xi's dearest Bibi.
*Ehem.. It's not dat I'm irresponsible. It's just my damn line that won't let me sign in. Grr... *


Happy Bibi surrounded by flies in her blue bell dress and lily hair band.





Pinkish Bibi with Pink hair band and an extravagant pink dress. Ahaha.. [I have to say dis one is kinda... over. XD Too pink. But it's still nice in a weird way, COZ BIBI IS SO CUTE! xD]




:) Cute Bibi with baby blue ribbon and a simple but elegant dress. Check out her panda shoes! ^^



Bibi's favourite princess look! She just love the crown and the green ballet shoes. XD






Bibi trying to put on a vogue look, dressed in a very dutch-lady way. XD





Bibi's special rabbit look in yellow bell dress and rabbit shoes!






She tries out the Rome style. ^^






Sleepy Bibi lies contently on the floor with a sigh. XD






Sweet Bibi in her full Lolita look sitting on her couch! :)



:)))) I LOVE U, BIBI~~~

Safety First~

2 colours to choose, white or green! :) Which one's better?
Personally I think green is much more fashionable. Ahahaha.

The raging swine flu sends everyone into paranoia. So whenever someone coughs or sneezes, the 1st thing we think of will be, "GET HIM/HER A DAMN MASK!"

haha. That's just a precautionary step. Wearing a surgical mask is a totally torturing experience, it feels so stuffy and hot! :((

Whew~ Much better like dis. *fresh air* :)

^^

ASAGOHAN, ASAGOHAN~

Copy paste from the info box:

"This is a HILARIOUS parody of the first movement of the world famous Symphony No.5 by Ludwig van Beethoven.It's called Asagohan (Breakfast).

This parody was done by a dance company called Shanghai Taro Dance Company, based in Osaka, Japan. They have other parodies, like "Furoya de" ("at the Bath house"), which features the famous "Ode to joy" melody, from the 9th Symphony.

This vid is about a family deciding to have breakfast at Tiffany's... I mean, at a standard Japanese restaurant.English subbed. Enjoy! "

^^ AGAIN, thanks to dear old Jacky for his effort in posting more and more hilarious and awesome videos in his blog. This parody made my day! :)

Despite all those silliness, I have to admit they are SO DAMN GOOD! Just watch it! :)))) I want you guys to have a good laugh too! ^^

♥
xixi.

Haha.. Told You One Night Stand Is HAZARDOUS. :)

Haha.. I told you guys one night stand is DEFINITELY hazardous, coz you never know who you are REALLY dealing with! XD Here's a perfect example.

LOL. I guess I need to put some translations here. :) YOU GUYS GONNA LOVE DIS.

Man : Hahahaha you are great! The best of all the women I had before!

Man: Is this the picture of your husband?

Woman: Nope~

Man: Owh, so dis is your boyfriend?

Woman: Nopey~

Man: Then you must be the mistress of this guy then.
Woman: You are so bad~~ No la...

Woman: Do you think he's cute? He looks a bit like me right?
Man: Owh, then he must be your brother.

Woman: That was me before I went to Korea for operation. Ehehehee.

Confusion in 2 different languages. [China]

BEWARE OF DIRECT TRANSLATION! Ahahaha.
I appreciate some sense of humour in life. :)
















































"F*** Goods" & "F*** The Food Area" are the funniest ever!
They should at least check out what is the meaning of F*** before putting it up. XDD

Gawd... I Feel So Old. Lol.

This is my very first teacher's day present IN MY 18 YEARS OF LIFE.
Wth la.. I feel so old. XDD

And I wonder why my student gave me a fluffy toydog.
And she got me exactly the right colour, BABY BLUE! :)
AND HOW ON THE EARTH DID SHE KNOW I AM HEAD OVER HEELS INTO DOGS??

*

*

*

Lol.. ACTUALLY, it was her mum who bought the present and asked her to pass it to me.
Maybe I look too kiddy, so she thinks I need a toydog to settle myself down peacefully. XD
Okay, let's make things clear. I'M NOT COMPLAINING OKAY?
It's good coz AT LEAST I feel slightly YOUNGER to get a stufftoy for a present, AT LEAST I'm not getting those oldie-oldie kinda serious present meant for adults.
Haha... What am I doing, consoling myself like this... zzz..

Let me recall... I did drew some cards for my primary skol teachers ages ago. XD

With some mirthful words like, "I love you, teacher. You are the best teacher in my life."

I hope my teachers won't feel sick after getting them. Ahaha.
Hmm.. one thing I'm sure is those are not meretricious words. I meant them from the bottom of my heart.

:) Long time didn't update anything.

Btw, Thanks Sylvia for the comment. Good Point! :)